Which of these quotes are a quote by Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

10 07 2007

multiple correct answers possible

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.
Elbert Hubbard
It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly. But also, check out his Adam’s apple
correct
There is nothing so ridiculous absurd* but some philosopher has said it.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

single answer

Friendship is neither a formality nor a mode it is rather a life.
Talk of joy there may be things better than beef stew and baked potatoes and home-made bread — there may be.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
correct

single answer

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory an empty gin bottle.
It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won’t go.
correct
… it’s simply wrong to always order kids to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.

multiple correct answers possible

No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.
Bertrand Russell
The future is the past returning through another gate.
Arnold Glasgow
It ain’t what folks know that’s the problem, it’s what they know that ain’t so.
Josh Billings
When you solve a problem, you ought to thank God and go on to the next one.
David Dean Rusk
When you work you fulfil a part of earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born. And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life, And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.
correct

multiple correct answers possible

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk And after you’re real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Never judge someone by who he’s in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
correct
I am sailing out along parallel 32.5 to stress that this is the Libyan border. This is the line of death where we shall stand and fight with our backs to the wall. (On planning confrontation with US Sixth Fleet in Mediterranean)
Muammar Qaddafi
A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.
Lee Iacocca

single answer

Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer the secret of redemption lies in remembrance.
Difficulties are things that show what men are.
correct
Whoever refuses to remember the inhumanity is prone to new risks of infection.

single answer

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention.
correct

single answer

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The home is the chief school of human virtues.
correct

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